


Mimesis

by Dellessa



Series: Cultural Differences Verse [2]
Category: Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Consent Issues, Dubious Consent, M/M, Mech Preg, Slavery, Tent Sex, Tentacles, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-03
Updated: 2012-12-03
Packaged: 2017-11-20 03:56:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/581052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dellessa/pseuds/Dellessa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blurr’s world is turned upside down when he is captured by the Decepticons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mimesis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [accidental_zombie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/accidental_zombie/gifts).



**Title:** Mimesis  
 **Verse:** Animated AU.  
 **Series:** None  
 **Rating:** M  
 **Warnings:** MATURE Content. Dub/Non-con. Consent issues. Slash. Implied slavery. Violence. Tentacles! Mech-preg.  
 **Pairings/Characters:** Blurr/Shockwave  
 **Notes:** AU after Transwarped.  
 **Summary** : Blurr’s world is turned upside down when he is captured by the Decepticons.  
 **Prompt:**[ Yuletide!](http://accidental-zombie.dreamwidth.org/562.html)  
  
Blurr ran like he had never run before. The walls closed in around him. Closer and closer. So close his plating scraped against them, and then he could move no more. The crushing weight settled around him, he felt his plating constrict and then crumble until the pain became unbearable. He was thankful when he was finally when the world finally slipped away and everything went black.  
  
It was a short time later when Shockwave made his way down that very hall, the walls recessed. He grimly picked up the cube of jagged metal, and nearly vented his relief as he caught sight of the spark still pulsing in the wreck that was Blurr. He pulled the metal cube close and made his way to the waiting ship. It was time to go home.

 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
Blurr woke, feeling stiff and out of place in his frame. He looked about his processor feeling unusually muddled. He usually woke up bright opticed and ready to go. Not this sol. He looked around the room groggily for several kliks before anything began to make sense to his processor. His limbs felt heavy with disuse---and wrong. He felt wrong. The weight of his limbs felt off somehow. He tried to focus on his servo as it stretched out in front of him, and just...stared for the longest moment. The coloring was right...nearly so, but the plating looked...different  
  
Finally it all came back and he curled in on himself as he remembered the walls closing in on him, and the pain of it. He truly never thought he would wake again. Never thought he would be doing anything but going into the well of allsparks.  
He sat up, and looked about the room. It was dark, the berth took up the majority of the room, and was made for a much bigger mech than himself. Not a comforting thought to his processor. He sat back down venting deeply and tried to calm himself as he tried to piece together what had happened...Longarm...Longarm...he jumped up, running for the door only to land in a heap, his leg swept out from under him as the chain pulled tight.  
  
Chain? Blurr yanked at it, but it was firmly attached to his ankle plating. The cuff welded on, and the chain attached with some sort of archaic locking mechanism. It wasn’t something that could be hacked, certainly. Not when his processor was all in a jumble as it was. His servos did not want to mind him. Nor his limbs, in truth. It was almost as if he was in a new frame.  
  
Almost....  
  
He shook, and looked about the room, taking stock. Off to the side there was a washrack. The chain was just long enough to reach it, barely so. He looked in the mirror mounted on the wall...and a stranger stared back. He scuttled away in horror, unable to stop the cry that left his vocalizer.  
  
No. No. No. This could not be happening. A whimper left his vocalizer, and with a great thump he fell to the floor landing on his aft, his legs refusing to hold him.  
  
The need to flee was overwhelming. In his panic Blurr vented loudly he wouldn’t be able to transform with that around his leg. He didn’t think so anyway. He sent out the command to do just that wondering if he could rip the lock away...but nothing happened. He tried again, over, and over, warnings flashed across his HUD.  Red warnings that he erased in his panic. They popped up again, and again, and finally he read the alert. ‘Transformation Cog: Not Found.’  Not found? He shook, and the shaking turned to a full out panic attack.  
  
Somehow he managed to crawl back to the berth. He pulled the metal mesh blankets around him, tunneling under them in a way that he had not since he was a sparkling. The mesh was soothing, warming him, and lulling him back down into recharge.  
  
He was a still curled up under the mesh when the the door slid open, jostling him out of recharge completely. He hopped up, becoming tangled in the blanket in his hurry and fell into a strutless heap. He looked up, up, up, and met Shockwave’s single red uptic, and could not help but scuttle back until he hit the side of the berth.  
  
Blurr looked up at the Decepticon, “Let me go. You can’t---you can’t keep me here.”  
  
“But I can, little one,” Shockwave said, kneeling down so that they were optic to optic. “I’m afraid you cannot expect a rescue either. I made certain the Elites think you are offlined.”  
  
That voice. It crawled up Blurr’s backstruts leaving him weak. It was Longarm’s voice. Of course it was Longarm’s voice.  They were the same Bot after all. Blurr shivered feeling caught between arousal and disgust. He had wanted Longarm for so long. Had admired him for so long. It was all a lie, and yet he still found himself reacting to it. That voice. It just left him a shivering, mad heap. “You can. You have to. I can’t---I can’t be this still---I NEED to race. I HAVE to race. I---I---you lied to me. To all of us. How could you...how could you do this to me.”  He pulled the mesh about him hunching down as if he wished to hide from the Decepticon spy.  
  
Shockwave moved closer and Blurr cowered, all his normal pluckiness leaching away with the hopelessness of the situation.  
  
“Please don’t kill me. Please don’t.”  
  
“Shhhh...I’m not going to destroy a gift from my Lord,” Shockwave laughed and plucked the smaller Bot from the floor as if her weighed nothing.  
  
Blurr squirmed in his grasp and was finally deposited on the berth. Nonononononononono. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Blur tried to wiggle away, to get free, but the bigger Bot pressed him into the berth.  
  
“No. Be still. I will not damage you, much,” Shockwave murmured as his claws danced across the blue Bot’s chassis. Click. Click. Click. They tapped and scraped leaving the blue Bot squirming. “Breeders are precious and few enough.”  
  
“I’m not a---I’m not,” Blurr said, horrified. His optics widened and he froze, meeting Shockwave’s single optic.    
  
“You are a Bot, little one. So young,” he vented softly and nuzzled into Blurr’s chassis,“I know you do not remember Cybertron before the wars. If you did you would understand.” His claws danced across the little Bot’s chassis, as if memorizing them, and perhaps he was, until finally plucking at Blurr’s interface panel. “Open for me.”  
  
Blurr’s mind raced, and for once he could not find an out. He whined, as Shockwave continued to tease the seam.  
  
“I will ask you one more time, Open. Or I will be forced to do something neither of us want.”  
  
Blurr’s optics widened, shaken by the treat he let the panel open. “Please don’t do this, I’ve never, I’ve---I’ve never.” It was not a complete lie. The number of times he had interfaced in that manner was miniscule. He didn’t even know if this frame was sealed. He couldn't even access the systems to check. So much of his own chassis was locked away from him.  
  
It only earned a laugh from Shockwave. “Oh, I’m well aware. Hook checked you over before I brought you here, and I was told to be careful since you are still adjusting to your new frame,” his tone was oddly somber. He was not about to tell Blurr how close he had been to extinguishing. His spark had guttered and fluttered the whole rushed journey to Chaar. “It will be some time before your spark settles completely.”  
  
“Checked me o-over?” He made a little gasping noise despite himself as Shockwave trace one sharp claw around the rim of his valve.  
  
“Well, he was the one that placed your spark into this new frame.” Shockwave whirled his claw across the rim, tweaking nodes as he went and sending Blurr shrieking. Everything was overly sensitive. Shockwave pulled his claws away, “You will get accustomed to it soon enough, I can guarantee you. Soon you will not be able to imagine a life other than this.” He smoothed a claw against Blurr’s plating.  
  
Blurr looked up at the Con, his hope dying. He wasn’t going to escape this. Resignation reared it’s head and he grasped at it, not knowing what else to do. There would be no rescue. No hope of returning to Cybertron.  


 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
In the first cycles of his new life on Chaar it seemed to Blurr that the only thing he did was recharge and consume energon. Shockwave mostly let him be, giving him room to adjust and accept him new lot in life. He didn’t want to accept it. He had never thought about sparklings, not really, much less thought he’d have one himself.  At best in some distant future he thought he might one day go to the All-spark’s temple and have a sparkling frame en-sparked. That, however was a far cry from what Shockwave was asking of him.  
  
Eventually, his systems settled into the new frame, and he ran out of excuses for avoiding his captor. “You are never going to let me go, are you,” he asked, not looking at Shockwave as he said, it but rather the stranger in the mirror. It wasn’t something he could ever become used to, he hoped. His processor told him otherwise. With each glance it became reality and his old life just a flux.  
  
Shockwave vented, his tone patient, “No, I will not. You are mine.”    
  
“All sentient creatures should be free,” Blurr said, plucking at the loop of metal welded to the outside of one ankle. He had at least been freed from the chain some day before. “I want to go home.” He looked at everywhere but Shockwave. he couldn't face it. despite it all he still wanted the bot, and felt like melting every time he heard that voice.  
  
Shockwave turned his way, his red optic glowing faintly in the shadow-filled room. “You are hardly a prisoner, Blurr. You are not locked away in the brig, you are not chained. You are not in a cage.”  
  
Blurr could only blink at the Con for a long moment. He didn’t get it. Sometimes it seemed as though they were operating on different wavelengths. “You are making me do this.”  
  
“Have I forced myself on you,” Shockwave asked, moving closer. The sound of that voice made Blurr’s plating prickle with need.  
  
“No. But---”  
  
“But what? I do not understand your recriminations, I have not made you do anything. In reality, I saved your spark,”  the Con said in a  clearly nonplussed tone.  
  
“After you put me in danger. You almost killed me,” Blurr shrieked, pushing at the Con when he was pulled close and held until his fit of hysteria passed.  
  
“Which was a necessity I regret every day,” the spy said with a sigh. He stroked his claws down Blurr’s back in a soothing motion until the Bot finally relaxed against him. He pulled Blurr close, he would win the Bot over yet, he only needed time.  
  
Luckily he had that in abundance.  
  
He held onto the Bot until he heard Blurr’s systems wind down and he fell into recharge. Such outbursts never failed to tire the small Bot out. It seemed the way of things. Blurr was still fragile, so Hook said in any case. He just had to have patience. He kept telling himself that, hoping that it would sink into his processor and take residence. So far...not so much. It was tempting to rush things along and take the Bot, but he knew he needed to play the long game. The payoff would be more than worth it.  


 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
Blurr glared up at Shockwave as they walked down the hallway. He was never allowed to go anywhere by himself. They seemed to argue about it endlessly. Shockwave said it was for his own safety. Blurr was not sure if he bought that explanation or not. He had seen other Bots at a distance, not that Shockwave would ever let him close enough to converse with them. “Can’t I go talk to them?” he wheedled, hating the whining tone his voice took.  
  
“I do not believe you are ready for that, presently.” Shockwave said.  
  
Blurr had heard this often enough. So often he only scowled back. “This is ridiculous,” Blurr pressed. “Can’t I---”  
  
“No. Blurr. We have been over the situation, my dear. You may not. It is for your own protection. You cannot just...go wandering about. You could be injured,” Shockwave said, steering the Bot back towards his quarters.  
  
“My protection. I somehow doubt that,” Blurr vented softly, lacking the energy to go into a solid huff about it.  
  
“I do not want you removed from my custody. It has happened before, Megatron has given me permission to court you...but if some other mech took it into their processor to steal you away...and succeeded. My Lord would not find it amiss,” Shockwave said in that calm voice of his.    
  
“I am not a piece of property. I am a Bot,” Blurr ground out. “A sentient being. You make it sound I’m some toy you can pass about.  
  
“Yes, but you are also MY Bot, my responsibility,  and I want to keep you safe.” Shockwave said, not understanding why Blurr was so worked up about it.  
  
Blurr just stared helplessly for the longest moment. “I don’t understand you at all,” he mumbled. “I don’t know why you are doing this. If all you wanted w-w-was t-that...you could have taken anybot. Why are you doing this to me? Why can’t you let me go?”  
  
“Lord Megatron entrusted me with your safety, little one,” Shockwave said patiently, steering the small blue Bot back towards his quarters and away from the other Bots.  “You are my responsibility.”  
  
“Is that all I am?”  Blurr hissed. He didn’t know what he wanted to hear at this point. “A Bot to force your sparklings on? A mindless pet?” he spat out, stomping ahead of Shockwave. “You should have let me die.”  
  
Shockwave caught up with him, scooping him up and holding him tightly despite the struggle Blurr put up. “Don’t ever say that,” Shockwave hissed. “I would think it obvious that I care for you, I have always cared for you. Do you even realize how much it pained me to hurt you like that? You were almost lost. So many times. I did not believe I was going to even make it to Chaar in time,” he vented heavily, and finally looked around as if he was just realizing where they were.  
  
Blurr stilled against him, offlining his optics. He did not even know what to do. “I just wanted you to notice me,” he blurted out, and finally went limp in the Decepticons arms. “Why didn’t you ever notice me. Why did you...have to just be one big lie?”  
  
“It wasn’t all a falsehood,” Shockwave said, stopping. “I was always interested in you.”  
  
Blurr struggled against him, hating how weak his limbs were in this frame. he could barely put up a fight against the much larger Con.  
  
“It wasn’t a lie,” Shockwave repeated, pulling the racer close to him. “I will...arrange for you to have time with some of the other Bots here. That is what you wish? Correct? And...I fear my lord wants to meet you.”  
  
“Megatron---I don’t---please don’t---” Blurr shook at the thought of being forced before the slag-maker. “Please.”  
  
“There is no other option. If my Lord Megatron demands your presence you will be present,” the Frame-shifter said, leaving no room to argue.

 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
Blurr had never felt quite so small in his life. The throne rooms ceilings rose far above his head. Tall enough even for an Omega, he ventured to guess. Shockwave put a proprietary hand on his shoulder, and for once he was not tempted to shake it off. If anything he leaned into it and away from the giant on the throne.  
  
“So, this is the Bot that caught your optic?” Megatron rumbled leaning down, but not bothering to rise from his seat. “He is rather...small.”    
  
Blurr’s engine’s stuttered. It was hard not to open his mouth and let some smart-aft reply out. Instead he shut his mouth and moved closer to Shockwave, if anything. Anger still glittered in his optics, and all the resentment of the past cycles threatened to break out as well, but he stood in stony silence.  
  
“Nothing to say, Autobot?” Megatron rumbled, and then smiled. “Perhaps you could teach my own mate manners then. He is far less well behaved.”  
  
“Your mate?” Blurr found himself asking before he could stop himself.  
  
“Optimus. I believe you know him.” Megatron gave the Bot a toothy grin, nearly laughing at the horror that unfurled over the small Bots features. “Their defense of Earth failed, little one. And soon Cybertron will as well, but I am sure you have more pressing things to worry about,” the large Con said, watching the horror play across the former Autobot’s face.  
  
Blurr took a step back, and would have ran if Shockwave’s claws had not settled on his shoulder, stopping him where he stood. “Perhaps we can arrange for them to have time together, my lord. I believe my mate would enjoy such company.”    
  
Megatron made a humming noise, “Perhaps. Once Optimus settles down. He is, not good company for anyone presently.”  
  
“What about the other Bots...the...the other ones on Earth?” Blurr blurted out, not entirely sure he wanted to know. He had not got along with any of them, but he never wished them ill. Not even the mouthy yellow bug.  
  
“They are here as well,” Megatron said.  
  
“Given to your people like pieces of property?” he snapped, which only made the tyrant laugh.  
  
“You know not what you speak of,” Megatron snapped, crimson optics narrowing dangerously.  
  
Blurr trembled, lunging before he thought. He got a single step before Shockwave bodily lifted him, pulling Blurr against his chestplates despite his struggles.  
  
“I apologize, my lord, he is usually better behaved,” Shockwave admonished. His grip tightening around Blurr until the Bot finally tired, and hung limply in his grasp.  
  
“It is fine,” Megatron purred. “It is good that he still has spirit. Perhaps, his sparklings will inherit those traits,” he nodded, watching Shockwave as he took his leave.

 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
Shockwave left him alone, and that was just as well for Blurr. He was feeling more like his old self as the cycles passed. He was itching for speed, to streak through the halls, but he was still more than a little ungainly in his new frame. He missed his modifications to his old frame, like so many other things. More importantly he was bored. There was only so many time he could read the datapads Shockwave left for him, the communication station allowed him such limited access that it was pointless, and the holovids Shockwave had on his shelf...nothing but documentaries, which left his processor aching. Out of sheer desperation he tried the keypad to exit the rooms for the hall only to discover he was lock in. Not really that surprising.  
  
In the end he flopped down in the middle of the floor, and glared at the ceiling. He half hoped that Shockwave would trip over him when he came inside. It would serve the mech right.  
  
He was still there, glaring when Shockwave returned some joors later. He didn’t trip over the inert mech, just stared down at him and vented softly. “Blurr, get up from there, you are a grown mech that’s hardly---”  
  
“I’m your prisoner. It’s not like I am going to cooperate with you,” Blurr glared up at him, optics narrowing.  
  
Shockwave vented, “You know you are not. I only locked you in here for your protection. Besides, I have brought you a present.”  
  
Blurr gave him a suspicious glance, “I can’t be bought. So don’t even---”  
  
“I was not trying to imply that you were,” the spy shook his head and fished a box out of his subspace. “It is a courtship gift, pet, do not degrade it by making such implications,” amusement coloured his tone at how fast Blurr sat up and plucked the box from his servos.  
  
The blue Bot opened the box slowly as if he was expecting explosives rather than the gelled energon squares that rested inside. Each square had a dusting of crushed crystal, making them twinkle, and Blurr let out a little sound of pleased surprise before he could stop himself. “These are my favourites,” he finally said, watching Shockwave as the spy settled down next to him. He gave Shockwave a sideways glance, suspicious, “How did you know?”  
  
“I did have nearly a vorn to observe your habits, it is hardly surprising that I would gather more than a few hypotheses into your tastes,” the spy finally said, shrugging helplessly.  
  
“You know, that is really creepy,” Blurr finally said, but that didn’t stop him from picking up one of the gelled squares and popping it in his mouth. “You’re like a stalker with a crush, I swear.”  
  
Shockwave only chuckled more amused than insulted, and continued watching Blurr hungrily.

 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
The next cycles seemed to whip by leaving Blurr in a haze. Shockwave took him out to the medbay the next day, and many of his modifications were replaced, and more importantly his transformation cog put back online. He could zip down the track nearly as fast as before, and he did that as well. He wasn’t entirely sure which surprised him more...that the Con’s had such a track, or that Shockwave took him there.  
  
He zoomed  around the track, dodging the other mechs, tires hugging the surface of the track. Spark thrumming in his chassis wildly. He ate up the track, few Bots could even keep pace. So few. His sensors lighted on the mech nipping at his proverbial heels. If anything it made him speed up, pushing himself to the limit and beyond. The fact that Shockwave was watching him best the other mech’s on the track left him (unexpectedly) running hot. His vents opened wide and his fans kicked on going as fast as they could to reduce some of the heat. He was still running hot when he finally transformed, his mood buoyant, and a large grin on his face plates that he couldn't quite hide.  
  
“Good race.” The Con that had been pushing his limits the entire time said behind him.  
  
Blurr turned, a smile still on his face plates. The high from the race still tingling through his systems. “You too,” he said, really looking at the Con, who was...strangely enough...about his size. Strange.  
  
“Blurr, right?” The dark chassised Bot looked him up and down, red optics glinting in amusement. “I’m Deadlock,” He looked behind him where the other racers were transforming and moving closer, “This slow-poke is Barricade. And those are the twins, Runabout and Runamuck.”  
  
The black mech called Barricade just vented and rolled his optics. “What this genius is trying to say, is we wouldn't mind a rematch. You should come back.” His optics drifted to where Shockwave was waiting. “If your keeper doesn’t mind.”  
  
Blurr followed his optics, his cheek-plates burned. “Right. I would like that. I’ll---I’ll ask him,” Blurr said, and wondered if he had the courage to.  
  
“That bad?” Deadlock asked, and smiled when the blue Bot became visibly flustered.  
  
“I have no idea,” He finally said, clamming up. “I---well thanks for the race. Maybe I’ll see here again,”  Blurr said and scurried away to where Shockwave was waiting.  
  
Shockwave watched him, amusement apparent, “One would think the Unmaker was on your heels.” He said as they made their way back to Shockwave’s domain.  
  
“No--I---” Blurr raised his arms, and let them fall to his side, still flustered.  
  
“Enjoyed yourself?” Shockwave wheedled.  
  
“Yes,” Blurr huffed, “Yeah. I did. I just...why would they act like they---” he stopped and scowled.  
  
“As if they want to be your friend? Why not. They are not so different from you, are they?” Shockwave asked softly, laying a proprietary hand on Blurr’s shoulder. “The vast majority grew up on Cybertron as you did. They were, however, not as fortunate in their birth. They slums are very hard, I wish I could show you what they didn’t in the academy,” Shockwave shrugged. “Not everybot was so lucky as you were, Blurr. The Autobots never gave them the opportunity to make something of themselves. But we did.”  
  
Blurr glared at him in silence, which didn’t surprise Shockwave in the least. Some truths were hard, and Blurr just wasn’t ready for them yet. Perhaps in time.  
  
He keyed in their entry when they finally reached the door and he ushered Blurr inside. It was going to be a slow process to convince Blurr to his way of thinking. He had known that all along. It was harder still to wait when charge was still nearly zinging across the blue Bots chassis.  
  
The buzz of Blurr’s face seemed to echo through the smaller room, his face plates heating up again part mortification and part anger. “You lie,” he spat out, finally whirling and glaring as he looked up at the one optic Bot.    
  
If he could have Shockwave would have smiled. “Do I? I think not, little one. Far from it. I have proof enough if you are willing to see it,” he said, knowing he was probably pushing the bot too far in his worked up state.  
  
“Cybertron isn’t like that.” He hissed, and snapped. He lunged at Shockwave, hissing like a wild organic.  
  
Shockwave sighed, pulling the Bot close despite his struggles. These outbursts were becoming too commonplace, and not something he was willing to permit any longer. “You are behaving like a sparkling.”  
  
If anything Blurr struggled more, his fans roaring. “I won’t, I won’t, and you can’t make me,” he shrieked, pressing against Shockwave.  
  
“I wouldn’t...Blurr...” Shockwave vented. loosening his grip he let Blurr go. The Bot just panted against him instead of fleeing, his vents opening as wide as they could to relieve his overheated chassis. His claws smoothed across hot plating, cautiously dipping into a seam to see what Blurr would do. He was such a bundle of mixed signals. He wasn’t entirely surprised. He had been a spy amidst the Autobots ranks long enough to see how they rolled. They were little enough like the Decepticon’s society who was always...upfront about such matters. They didn’t mince words, and act---well like how Blurr was acting. Shockwave could only sigh inside when just as suddenly he had an overly amorous racer in his arms.  
  
“I hate you,” Blur spat, clawing at Shockwave’s plating, nipping and biting until Shockwave was at the very end of his patience, and running just as hot as well.  
  
“You hate me?” Shockwave snapped back, his claws scuttling across Blurr’s plating again, tracing down until the reached the heated panel at the apex of his legs. It flicked open with barely a touch. Racers. He sighed inside. He should have expected this. He had somewhat at the back of his processor, and he debated with himself for a long moment. It was such a delicate dance at the moment. If he stepped wrong he could ruin all of his careful work and planning and set them right back to square one. He looked down at Blurr’s bared equipment, one claw grazing across the already pressurized spike. “What do you want, Blurr, really?”    
  
Shockwave settled his claws on Blurr’s waist, and waited for an answer, his resolve firming by the klik.  
  
“Nggh..” Blurr’s vocalizer spit out static.  
  
“That is not an answer,” Shockwave purred against Blurr’s audial, before letting go and walking away. His own chassis felt on fire, pit if he was going to give in and have the little Bot call foul later.  
  
“Please.” the sound was quite enough that Shockwave almost didn’t hear it over his own inner monologue.  
  
“What?” Shockwave asked.  
  
Blurr looked up at him, entirely unhappy, and dripping on the floor. “You heard me, you....you glitch. Just frag me already.”    
  
“You make it sound  as if it is some arduous task,” Shockwave said, moving close despite himself. He wanted nothing more than to do just that. Frag the Bot on any hard surface. His desk. The wall. It didn’t really matter. “Hmmm...”  
  
“Please.” Blurr whimpered. “Please. I’m tired of waiting. It’s what you want isn’t it?” he winced, at the words. “Really, I want it too, just....please.” He was scooped up before he could finished the sentence.  
  
Had things been different Blurr would have laughed at Shockwave’s expedience or the way he was practically tossed onto the berth. As it was he had little thought beyond what was between his legs. He arched up, pressing against Shockwave, pleading with him to relieve some of the heat.  
  
He watched the large Con, his optics settling on the cables snaking from beneath plating, he had known all frame shifters had them, but he had never really thought he would meet a Frameshifter in his lifetime much less....well this. They found his datalinks, grazed sensitive plating. His armour loosened allowing them access, his back boughing as Shockwave pulled him close. It seemed the Con was all around him plucking wires, grazing his sweet spots, and those claws...pushing inside his valve until he was seeing white and spitting static. They scissored, grazing every node until he was screaming his release and falling strutlessly back against the berth.  
  
He came back to himself, blinking uselessly up into Shockwave’s one optic. It took him longer to find his voice, “You didn’t...”  
  
Shockwave laughed, “It’s going to be a very long dark cycle, Blurr,” he chuckled, again, claws gracing the rim of Blurr’s valve, ruthlessly building up the charge again.

 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
Blurr stared up at the ceiling tiles, truthfully he was too tired to move, and his processor far too restless to let him fall into recharge. Shockwave was deep in recharge beside him, data cords still plugged into more of Blurr’s ports than he cared to count, and truthfully he did not have the spark to disengage him.  
  
If he was really truthfully with himself he found comfort of Shockwave’s system as it synchronized with his own. It was lulling. Not enough to put him into recharge, but more than enough to keep him safely tucked where he was. Besides...the day wore heavy on his processor. It made him doubt so many things he had come to think of as truths and built his view of the world around.  
  
And Shockwave...  
  
He flushed in the dark. His cheek plates burned to think of the things the Bot had done to him. He had interface in academy, but it wasn’t something they talked about, and it wasn’t...ever...like that. He couldn't suppress the full body shiver that crawled across his heating chassis. He wanted the Bot. He could at least admit that now. Wanted him and wanted this again.  
  
Scooting closer he situated himself in the crook of Shockwave’s arm and just let the past go. He pulled the thermal blanket over them, and let himself drift. He had never felt so safe in his whole existence, some unnamed emotion washed through him. His processor swore it was love. He considered it, and then filed it away for later study as recharge finally pulled him down.

 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
He awoke alone, the spot were Shockwave had occupied was long since chilled, a datapad propped against the pillow. He picked it up frowning.  
  
Apologies. I was called away by his lord Megatron for a task that only I could complete. I have made arrangements for you to visit with Optimus later this cycle, with his Lord’s permission. I will, with any hope, return in a few cycles. In the meantime I left you a present on the counter.  
  
~Shockwave  
  
He read it twice, shifting from ped to ped, not sure how to feel about it. His valve throbbed with a dull ache at the movement, reminding him of his activities during the dark cycle, and causing his cheekplates to heat up all over again. He wondered how he could face Optimus, and tried not to dwell on it as he gingerly walked to the fuel dispenser, grabbing a cube before he moved his attention to the box sitting on the counter. He tapped at the lid as if trying to make up his mind before sliding the lid off, and nearly dying in mortification at the contents. He looked at the fake spike inside and thanked Primus that Shockwave had left. He would have positively melted into a little puddle of shame had the Frameshifter been there, and yet his chassis suddenly felt unbearable hot. He picked up the tablet inside, half afraid to read it. He offline his optics, skewing up the courage to read it, finally onlined them, and died of embarrassment all over again. Five little words.  
  
‘Use it on yourself tonight.’  
  
That was all the note said. His fans kicked on, and he had a flashback of the dark cycle before, on his hands and knees screaming Shockwaves name as the Frameshifter pounded into him. It made the most delicious heat pool between his legs, and at the same time horror creeps along his circuits. This was not...  
  
He shook his head, pressing the lid over the box, and tempted to his the whole package. He didn’t want to think about it, and yet he could not.  
  
As it was he nearly ran out of the room to the seating area in front of the holovid, and made himself settle in and watch one of the vids Shockwave had left him. He only paid a nominal amount of attention to it, too distracted by far.  
  
After a few joors the entry bell rang and the door slid open. Blurr crept into the common room, optics wide as he wondered if Shockwave was back so soon. Instead he found the Bot he met the cycle before, Deadlock, “Oh, hi...can I...ah...help you with something?”  
  
The Bot gave him a ready grin, “Actually, I’m here to take you over to see Optimus.”  
  
“Oh. I...ah...I see.” Blurr said, still unsure about how he felt about going to see the other Bot.  
  
“I’m here a bit early, actually, Shockwave---ah---asked me to talk to you,” Deadlock said, looking away from Blurr’s face, “Not something I would usually agree with, but old Shockie’s done me a good turn or two. I think...you don’t understand some of the things you’ve---ah---seen here.”  
  
Blurr shrugged, “Yeah, I guess. You’re a Bot. Why are you even here?”  
  
“Maybe we should sit down for this,” Deadlock said, grabbing two energon cubes and handing Blurr one while they made their way to the sitting area. He waited until Blurr was seated before he started again, “I...ah...came here when I was a youngling. Shockwave botnapped me, but it was really the best thing that ever happened to me. I was living on the streets in the slums of Iacon. I guess they recruit from there a lot. I wasn’t in my adult frame yet, but I was---I was addicted to Syk, and---ah---selling myself to get it.”  
  
“You’re---what---in Iacon---what---” Blurr looked at him with big optics, and fell back into the mesh cushions of the chair. “Seriously?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m serious. Shockwave brought me back here, and got me help. I was ward to the Lord Protector until I came of age. All foundlings are---ah---wards. Barricade was too, and Shockwave brought him in as well. He was---he was the alpha class. He’s a very talented musician. Like...really, really talented. But that isn’t exactly something his creators approved. So he rebelled and made trouble. Street races. Run ins with the Elite Guard. Mostly stupid stuff that shouldn't’ have mattered, but they---this Creators got tired of dealing it and were going to wipe his processor and start over. They can do that you know, to underage Bots. Wipe their processors, upgrade frames, and be perfectly in their rights. He found out and ran away. I can’t blame him. He was a teenbot when he got here.”  
  
Blurr just looked at him, trying to process it all. “That’s horrible.”  
  
“There are worse things. The twins were slaves. You probably didn’t know that there were any on Cybertron. It’s illegal. But that doesn’t stop some towers Bots from doing it anyway. We really aren’t the monsters that they say we are. I promise,” Deadlock said, looking away. “We aren’t. We’re just---we want freedom too. We want equality,” He laughed. “It sound hokey. But don’t judge us too harshly. And don’t judge Shockwave that way either. He cares,” Deadlock shrugged again, and shook his head. “Too much serious talk. I just had to get it out. Com’on Optimus is waiting. And the consort mustn’t wait,” he grinned, grabbing a surprised Blurr’s hand and pulled him along.  


 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
Blurr was not entirely sure what he was going to find when he met with Optimus. He was not close to the Bot, not by far, but they at least had something in common. A lot of somethings it would seem. He followed Deadlock through the streets of Chaar, and did his best not to gawk. He had only been out with Shockwave a few times, and certainly not that far away from the officer’s compound. Megatron’s residence was surprisingly...unassuming, surrounded by other large houses, the crystal growth around it neat, and if Blurr craned his neck he could see the gardens on the other side of the wall that surrounded the back and side of the residence. He would not have pegged it for the residence of the leader of the Decepticons though, it was decidedly un-palatial. Deadlock rang the entry bell, and pulled Blurr inside when it was answered by minibot who looked much like Cliffjumper.  
  
“Come in, you are expected,” the blue mini looked up at Blurr, “I have to warn you...the Consort is in a mood.”     
  
Blurr blinked at him, “You mean, Optimus.”  
  
“Yes, yes. Of course that is who I mean. Megatron only has one mate. I am Carrera, by the way,” the mini finally said, “The Lord Protector’s head of household.”  
  
Blurr blinked at him, “Oh, I---ah---see---it’s nice to meet you.”  
  
Deadlock gave him an amused look as they followed the mini down a long hall and finally stopped at a door towards the end. He punched in a code, and stood in the entryway, “Optimus, you have visitors.”  
  
Carrera did not wait for an answer, instead just ushered them inside. “In a mood,” he mumbled under his breath before hurrying off leaving Blurr and Deadlock on their own.  
  
“Optimus?” Blurr said quietly, stepping further into the room, not entirely sure what to expect.  
  
“Blurr,” Optimus said stepping out, “It is so good to see a familiar face.”  
  
Blurr studied the truckbot for a long moment. He looked well. Polished to a deep shine. He noted the jeweled cuffs and the matching one about his neck. “You look well.”  
  
“Well...right. He will not let me see my team until he says I learn to behave,” Optimus scowled, his anger clear in his tone. “I can’t leave,” he touched his neck, “this prevents it. Unless he allows it that is. So no, I’m not really well as you term it.”    
  
Deadlock just stared, and rolled his optics, “you act as though our Lord tortures you. He adores you, such a crime, and spoils you. Poor Optimus. Poor, poor little spark. So very misfortunate that you are loved and cared for.”  
  
Optimus hissed at him, his optics flashing dangerously, “I am a prisoner. Do you not think I would return---”  
  
“Why? They don’t want you. I was there when Megatron contacted Ultra Magnus. He doesn’t care enough to waste resources. Scrap. He tried to use you as a bargaining chip to make peace with us. We both heard it,” Deadlock threw his servos up. “You---are the most stubborn Bot I’ve ever met. Why would you want to return to a bunch of Bots that clearly don’t think you are worth the bother? No, really don’t even answer that.”  
  
Blurr listened to what seemed to be a very old argument. “Please...stop it,” he said in a strained voice. “Please. I can’t---I just can’t.”  
  
Optimus watched the racer, and nodded, “Right...I’m sorry. Are you well, Blurr?” Optimus looked the blue racer up and down and then herded him towards the sitting room.  
  
“I’m well,” Blurr said, looking around the room it was well appointed. It was obvious that Optimus was well taken care of. “I guess. Shockwave has---ah---taken good care of me I guess.”  
  
Deadlock snorted, and plopped down on the mesh covered couch, “So abused, the both of you.”  
  
Optimus glared, optics narrowing, “You...”  
  
“Know better. I’ve seen Megatron around you, and you around him. If you would get over your stubborn pride you’d both be happy.”  
  
“All sentient beings have the ri---” Optimus clenched his hands.  
  
“Freedom. Right and the Bots give it to them. Tell me another Optimus,” Deadlock laughed.  
  
Blurr watched in shock. “Deadlock, stop baiting him. This was supposed to be a friendly visit.”  
  
Deadlock and Optimus glared at each other for what seemed like an eternity before a smile curled up on Deadlock’s features. “Oh, Optimus, I don’t know why you make things so hard for yourself,”  he leaned back, optics flicking to Blurr and back.  
  
Blurr shook his head, he liked Deadlock, he really did, but the mech was a brat. Pure and simple. “You’re jewelry is interesting. I’ve never seen quiet a design like that.” Blurr said, resolutely changing the subject, and moving closer to Optimus.  
  
“The pi---yeah I guess they are.” Optimus said. “Unfortunately...they are more than jewelery, Blurr.” Optimus grimaced, flicking the collar that settled against his neck the large red stone in it’s center catching the light. It was the very shade of crimson as most Decepticon’s optics. Blurr could not imagine that was incidental.  “It is what is keeping me in this place. Unless Megatron keys it to allow me to I can’t step out the door. I’ve tried. And the cuffs, are just that.” He sighed.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Blurr finally said, sounding contrite. “I didn’t---”  
  
“It’s fine,” Optimus said, looking down at his hands where they clenched together on his lap.  
  
“It’s clearly not.” Blurr said, “Has---has he forced you?” Blurr asked, trembling.  
  
Optimus stared at him, for a long moment, “What---no. It’s not like that---NO.”  
  
Blurr looked away, “I’m sorry. i shouldn’t have said anything,” he shrank into himself.  
  
Deadlock grimaced and rolled his optics, “Well as fun as this has been, I think it is time for us to take our leave.”  
  
“That might be best,” Optimus agreed, looking away, “Thank you for coming to see me, Blurr.”  
  
Blurr nodded, and let Deadlock drag him off.  


 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
  
The trip back was short, thankfully, and quiet. Blurr, for one, was completely lost in thought and only made a half hearted effort to engage Deadlock. His processor still on the mech they had left. He could understand where Optimus was coming from, but at the same time he did not agree at all. It was hard to rally under the Autobots cause when they had been written off so easily. He wouldn’t lie to himself about it. It hurt. He had devoted much of his short life to the cause. He was coming to think that perhaps he was wrong. About so very many things. He was half surprised when they reach Shockwave’s rooms. Deadlock followed him inside, and he couldn't find it in himself to protest. “They aren’t hurt are they?” Blurr finally said, saying what had been on his processor the whole trip.  
  
“What?” Deadlock raised a browplate, “Who?”  
  
“Prime’s team. They aren’t...they weren’t deactivated were they?”  
  
“What? No. Of course not. They were placed with potential mates,” Deadlock said, shaking his head.  
  
“Oh,” Blurr frowned, working it out in his processor, “you know where they are then, don’t you? Why didn’t you tell Optimus?”  
  
Deadlock blinked at him, “His Lord ordered that we did not. It is not my place to go against his wishes...especially when it comes to his mate, Blurr. It’s not wise to meddle in such things.”  
  
“Y-yes...I guess you are right,”  he said, looking around the rooms he now resided, his bravado long deserted him.  
  
“I know I am,” Deadlock patted his shoulder. “I’ll see you next cycle. I was thinking a trip to the track,” He smiled. “If you feel up to it. I know it will be a few cycles before Shockwave returns in any case.”    
  
“Thanks,” Blurr said, “I’d like that.” He smiled faintly and watched Deadlock leave. The door slid shut leaving Blurr alone in the too quiet room. He stood there staring at the door for a very long klik, hugging himself tightly. He had never been or felt so alone. On Cybertron there had always been Bots around. Especially in the dorms, and later the barracks. He could count few time that he had not been surrounded by other’s and he was, frankly, not sure he enjoyed this solitude.  
  
Finally his optics landed on the box Shockwave had left. His faceplates flushed thinking about it. His systems already heated up as he debated with himself. He had shared sparks often enough. What cadet didn’t. They were encouraged to do so in Academy, and even in the ranks. But the other, he could count the times on one servo, and all of those had been the odd overcharged encounter. Not something that he had ever talked about with anyone, or even really acknowledged the next cycle. He couldn’t help but wonder why, in retrospect. Was it part of the propaganda set out by the Senate against the Decepticons? For the first time he thought of such things. The use of the Allspark to create younglings was just one more thing to separate them from the war builds and cause strife. He thought about all that Shockwave had told him, how things had been before the war, and tried not to think too hard about what seemed to be expected of him eventually. He had never considered creating a life. The prospect terrified him, truthfully.  
  
He left the box where it was, moving to the berthroom instead, burrowing down into the berth he pulled the mesh blankets around him. His sparked hummed with discontent in his chest. He couldn't say that it was something that he found pleasant. Far from it. He had always zipped through life frivolously, letting others do the really deep thinking for him. Brooding wasn’t in his nature, but he found himself doing just that. He stayed there until he finally drifted into recharge, his processor far from at ease.  


 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
Blurr was up early in the light cycle, the night before had been spent restlessly, the fluxes still lingering in his processor. He was restless as he waited for Deadlock to arrive, more than ready to run off the nervous energy shooting through his frame. He paced the living area, for lack of anything else to do, although his optics did linger on the datapads that lined one wall. Reading had never been one of his favoured past times, but even that was tempting now.  
  
He jumped, startling when the door finally pinged and Deadlock came striding in. He only raised a browplates when he saw Blurr’s state. “Worked yourself up into a tizzy, didn’t you?” he grinned, taking his friends arm, “Let’s go. There’s already a good crowd down at the track. Barricade comm’d me twice to tell us to hurry.”  
  
Blurr’s lip-plates pushed up into a little smile. “I’m ready for a race. You don’t even know,” he laughed. He had never felt quite this jittery in his whole existence. It was a relief to transform and race Deadlock through the streets of Chaar to the track in question. There was a crowd gathered, something that he thrived on. Attention. Blurr would have beamed had he been in his root mode. As it was he gunned his engines and shot off, not waiting to see if Deadlock followed. He lost himself in the speed and just, stopped thinking, and more importantly stopped worrying. He pushed himself, testing his limits, and probably would have raced well into the dark cycle had Deadlock not stopped him, his own joy at their race apparent. He finally transformed, his vents open as wide as possible to stave off some of the heat in his system.  
  
“Want to go out to the energon bar with us?” Barricade asked, slinging an arm around Blurr’s shoulder, ignoring the glare Deadlock sent him.  
  
“Not sure that’s a good idea, Cade,” Deadlock said, frowning. “I’m not sure Shockwave would approve of that.”  
  
Barricade snorted, “He’s not here, and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Right Blurr?”    
  
“I don’t know if that would be a good idea,” Blurr finally got out, nearly panting from the heat still coursing through his system. It settled, throbbing between his legs and it was all he could do not to whimper. If anything, the heavy weight of the black mech’s arm around his shoulders made it worse.  
  
Barricade purred, “Come on. It will be fun. Yah know, if you don’t want to stay with old cyclops you don’t have to. There are others that would be more than willing to take you in.”    
  
“Barricade, pit take you, cutting in on the Spy-master’s territory is a stupid move, cut it out before you get us all in trouble,” Deadlock snapped, pulling Blurr out of Barricade’s grip. “Rust it. You’re acting worse than Drag Strip. Just cut it out.”  
  
“I heard that,” the mech in question yelled across the track, but Deadlock waved him off, annoyed with all of his friends at the moment. His gaze fell on Runabout and Runamuck. “Maybe you two should get our friend out of here before he does something disastrous.”  
  
Runamuck snickered, “Like we could stop him from making an afthead about himself. Besides, we both know he’s really all hot and bothered about that little yellow Bot Oilslick nabbed.”  
  
Runabout echoed his snicker, “You shoulda seen him---”  
  
Barricade elbowed him hard, glaring, “Shut it. I don’t want to talk about it.”  
  
“Too tired of not getting what you want?” Runabout snickered again, despite the wheezing.  
  
Deadlock listened to them bickering for a moment before pulling Blurr away, “Let’s get you home. They’re only going to get worse. And I really don’t want you to be around them when they get some highgrade in them. Not when my aft is on the line.”  
  
Blurr let himself be pulled along, more dazed than anything. Charge zinged through his system and he was hard pressed not to whimper as they strolled back. Deadlock didn’t seem to be in a hurry.  
  
Far from it.  
  
It seemed like an eternity to Blurr before he finally stepped pede back inside the building he was starting to think of as his home.  
  
“You okay?” Deadlock asked, casting a worried glance over his charge. Blurr had been so very quiet as they walked. It was unusual. He knew that much from his time spent with the Bot.  
  
“I’m fine,” Blurr said, sounding anything but.  
  
“Hey, don’t mind Cade, he really didn’t mean anything by it. He’s just...a jerk,” Deadlock gave him a tiny smile, “Shockwave should be here sometime early in the light cycle. Maybe we can arrange to go out racing later. I’ll talk to him about it if you want.”  
  
“I’d like that,” Blurr murmured, “I really would.”  
  
Deadlock gave him a final nod, and then he was alone. The charge had not dissipated in the least, the only saving grace was that Deadlock had not commented on the heat radiating from his chassis.  
  
He stood in the middle of the room for a long klik debating with himself. He could go to the washrack, that would get rid of the heat, but not the charge zinging through his system, or the way his valve clenched. He cursed Shockwave silently. Somehow it was all his fault. His optics fell on the box, a whimper fell from his lips and he didn’t let himself think about it this time. Just grabbed the box and scooted towards the berthroom.  
  
He sat it down on the edge of the berth, dropping it like it was on fire. “Oh, for Primus sake,” he vented loudly, finally flicking the lid off, craned his neck and looked inside.  It would have been so much easier to lay back on the berth and let Shockwave just have his way with him. Unfortunately that wasn’t an option. He steeled himself, grabbed it, somehow managed to hit a button at it’s base which sent it merrily vibrating. He let out an embarrassing squeal of surprise and flung it across the room before he knew what he was about. “The pit.”  
  
He cursed again as he crossed the room, retrieving the spike, and fumbled with it as he tried to figure out how to turn the cursed thing off.  
  
He looked around the room, frowning. With his luck Shockwave had hidden cameras and saw the whole embarrassing little juggling act. He hoped not. Instead of thinking about it any longer he climbed up on the berth trying to situate himself, and sighed loudly as he finally let his panel snap open. Fluid pooled under his aft, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. His fingertips slid across the edge of the panel, unsure, and finally to the rim of his valve. His head dropped back and he let out a softer sigh. Finally. He arched into his own touch, offlining his optics as he pushed first one digit in and then a second. The passage was slick, and he let out a little keen with each node his fingers brushed. He wiggled, hips grinding into his hand in an involuntary movement. He thought about the way those clawed digits had filled him before, and whimpered, his optics flying open.  
  
How horrible was he for wanting that? He wondered for one split second before reaching for the spike. He pushed it in far too fast, not bothering to wait for the mesh of his valve lining to adjust. It was just on this side of painful, but he found he didn’t mind that either. Far from it. It send the charge dancing across the nodes, rubbing across them until he finally saw white, and fell strutlessly against the berth. He purred, warmth enveloping him, the spike still filling his clenching valve as he drifted off.  


 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
The sky was only hinting at the beginning of the light cycle when Shockwave arrived home. It was quiet, not surprising. Blurr was generally an early riser, but not quite this early. He moved silently through the rooms, unwilling to disturb the others recharge. He slipped into the berthroom, and...stopped. He offlined his optic, at the mess before him, thinking, for a kilk at least that he was seeing things. No, definitely not seeing things. He moved closer, leaned over the berth and touched Blurr’s chest plating. Charge dance merrily across the living metal, and Blurr let out a staticy little moan, arching up. Shockwave frowned, pulling away, and waited to see if the blue Bot would come out of recharge.  
  
He loomed over Blurr, debating with himself on what course to take. The last thing he wanted to do was to set back what head way he had already made with the little racer. “Blurr?” he said, finally sitting on the edge of the berth, grimacing inside at the lubricant that seemed to be smeared everywhere. “Blurr,” he said more firmly, feeling more than a little relieved when the Bots optics brightened, and...he...purred.    
  
“I missed you,” Blurr said, clamouring against the spy.  
  
“Perhaps I should leave more often,” Shockwave said, amused as he pulled Blurr into his lap. “Wore yourself out playing last cycle?” he asked against Blurr’s adial, one claw keeping the interfacing toy lodged firmly in the Bots valve, and flicked the switch. Blurr bucked up against him, whimpering. He opened his mouth, spitting out static. “If this is the greeting I get when I return it would be more than worth it,” he said in an amused tone, dialing up the vibration.  
  
He eased Blurr through one overload and then a second, ignoring the pained aching of his own spike behind his panel. His cables slithered free, teasing Blurr’s ports until the opened up to him, looping the data feed between them until they were both keening release.  
  
Blurr slumped against him, still panting.  
  
Shockwave smoothed his claws against Blurr’s still heated chassis, pulling out the spike, and setting it on the berth. He picked Blurr up, holding him close as he made his way to the washracks. “Let us get you cleaned up,” he finally said, amused despite himself.  


 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
Blurr stood more than half dazed under the solvent, looking anywhere but at Shockwave. His processor was clearing more by the moment, and he could not seem to push away the horror that was building in him. Maybe he deserved to be here. Good Bots just didn’t act the way that he did. He would have curled into himself if he could have. Worse still he could feel Shockwave optic on him watching.  
  
“Blurr...what is wrong?” Shockwave asked, finally pulling the Bot from the spray.  
  
“Nothing,” Blurr said, stepping out of his grasp and underneath the dryer. “I’m fine. I’m just fine.”  
  
The spy watched him, letting the lie slide for now. He hated how the Autobots seemed to have ruined everything good. It was easy enough to see how Blurr’s wires were all twisted in a bunch. He had hidden amidst that society enough to see exactly how it was. “Clearly not. What is vexing you?”  
  
“I’m...just...dirty...a dirty, rusted piece of slag. I---”  
  
Shockwave glared. “Desist. You are not. I do not want those words to reach my audials ever again. Do you comprehend?”  
  
Blurr cringed away from the Decepticon that suddenly seemed to tower over him menacingly. “I’m sorry,” he squeaked before he could stop himself.  
  
Shockwave shook himself mentally. “I’m not angry with you. I am---exasperated that you would have any reason to feel that way,” he finally said, frustration clear in his tone.  
  
“But I am,” Blurr said in a tiny voice when Shockwave pulled him close.  
  
“No. You are truly not,” he pet Blurr’s hip plating, and considered it. “Processor-washed, perhaps. Naive. But never...that,” he shook his head, taking Blurr’s hand in his claws and leading him out of the washrack. The berthroom needed cleaned but that could wait for now. He had more pressing things.  
  
Blurr looked up at him, as he was tugged into the living area, and finally to the sitting area in front of the vid screen. Shockwave sat and pulled Blurr into his lap. “I think we need to discuss this.”  
  
Blurr wiggled around, getting comfortable, and finally settled himself against Shockwave’s check letting the other’s spark pulsing beneath the plating lull him. “What?”  
  
“Blurr...what you were taught was not...correct. We were made for it, not to--to create pre-programmed mechs from the All-spark,” he looked down at the mech, and frowned. He was too young and had been robbed of the time to mature that spark-born mechs had. Anger rose up in him as it had a million times before. “It is a horrible travesty, they robbed you of your sparkling hood, of any chance to mature in a normal span of time, and then they put that filth into your processor.”  
  
Blurr blinked up at him blankly. “Wha---”  
  
“As I advised you before---before the wars smaller frame types took care of our young, they stayed planetside while the Warframes waged war and protected Cybertron. We have always had the ability to create new sparks. I know they never tell you that, why would they. It takes time to raise sparklings, and the Council could not give you that common courtesy. Not if they waged their war against their own kind. During the last great war with the Quintessons most warbuilds were off planet, fighting. Keeping the Quints from Cybertron. During that time the ‘bots decided they no longer needed us. One of their sciencebots created the Allspark to mass infuse sparks, hoping to overwhelm us by sheer numbers.The Council did not see the need to raise sparklings, they could just make protoforms and stick a spark in it. Cannon-fodder. Only it did not play out that way. Instead they had an over abundance of immature sparks in adult frames. As you know it has not ended well for them, ” Shockwave sighed, sounding infinitely tired.  
  
“You sound---you sound as if you...” Blurr blinked up at him in confusion.  
  
“Of course, I am well aware of the facts. I was there,” Shockwave bit back. “We returned home to--to this disastrous state of events. A war that seemingly never ends, and the Council firmly in power. I am tired, Blurr. Very tired.” He pet Blurr’s plating, pulling him close. “I do not think you understand how horrible it makes me---I will not stand here and listen to you disparage yourself because of the processor-rotting slander they have made you believe.”  
  
Blurr listened, and frowned, he had never imagined that Shockwave was THAT old. He really didn’t know many Bots that were, truthfully. Magnus, certainly, and Alpha Trion, but it wasn’t like they were more than acquaintances at best. He let his processor mull it over. “I’ll try---I’ll try not to do that again. I can’t promise you thought. It’s hard to---to erase a lifetime of---”  
  
“That is all I could hope to expect,” Shockwave said gravely.

 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
A stellar cycle passed and Blurr settled into his new life as best as he could adjust. Truthfully he was bored. He had never had a time in his life when he did not have something to do. A job. Elite Guard training. There had always something for him to do. Somewhere for him to go. For the most part he was idle. Shockwave had his work at the Decepticon high command, and some times he was called out for special operations leaving Blurr alone for days at a time.  
  
Blurr spent as much time as he could at the track, but for once racing just wasn’t...enough.  
  
He was lonely.  
  
He was bored.  
  
“Hey, Chaar to Blurr, are you in there?” Deadlock said poking him in the side.  
  
“Whaaat, yeah, sorry. I was just thinking,” he shrugged, looking out at the track. “About, things---I guess.”  
  
“What? I thought things were going well with Shocks,” Deadlock said, smirking. “I thought well....”  
  
“Huh? No...nothing like that,” Blurr shrugged, looking suddenly flustered, “I---yeah---no---everything is fine with---yeah....actually I was just thinking maybe I need something to do. A job or something. Maybe I could---ah---help out somehow. I mean I’m not really an Autobot anymore. They---yeah---There just comes a point where it can’t be ignored any longer.” He touched the blank spot on his chest where the Elite Guard mark used to reside. “I hate just---being a burden.”  
  
Deadlock shook his head. “No one thinks you’re a burden, you glitch. No more than what, the Consort.”     
  
“Not quite the same. Optimus---is stubborn. And besides, he’s sparked up. It’s not like I am. not for lack of trying,” he said the last part in a grumble. Once he warmed up to the idea he found that he was less than adverse to the prospect. In fact he was very much in favour of it. Besides trying for a sparkling was equally---entertaining once he got over his squeamishness.  
  
“Stubborn. Is that what they are calling it now? He would try Prima’ patience, I swear,” Deadlock said, biting back a laugh.  
  
“Probably, but I can understand where he is coming from. He expects the best from Bots. I think it’s a rather admirable quality. You might not agree, but he is a good Bot. And as you point out all the fragging time he is the Consort. Right?”  
  
“Ah, Blurr. Sometimes I wonder about you,” Deadlock smirked. “Such a soft spark.”  
  
Blurr shrugged, leaning against the railing. “Whatever, you never really answered me. Think Shockwave would be okay with me getting a job or...something?”  
  
“Wouldn't hurt to ask. I mean, maybe you could be a courier. They’d probably insist on you taking the pledge though. I know Shock’s didn’t want to push you into that,” Deadlock leaned over, patting Blurr on the back, “None of us want to force you into that.”     
  
“Thank you for that,” Blurr said, leaning into his friends touch, “You have no idea how grateful I am for that.”  


 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
Blurr watched Optimus over his cube of energon. “How does it feel?” He finally blurted out.  
  
Optimus blinked at him, “How does...what...oh that? I dunno. Odd, I guess. It’s strange. The whole thing is fragging strange.”  
  
Blurr’s lip-plates twitched up, he didn’t think it was strange at all, but rather interesting. “The sparks are still attached to yours?”  
  
“ Yeah, the medic said their protoforms aren’t that far along in my gestation tank,” his frown deepened, “Do we have to talk about this, it’s all Megatron goes on about. He’s excited I guess.”  
  
Blurr sat the cube down and stared at the Bot. “And you’re not?”  
  
“I---”Optimus said looking away shaking his head.  
  
“Scared?” Blurr asked trying again. Optimus was trying at times, but in many ways Blurr couldn’t blame him.  
  
“Wouldn't you be?” Optimus said, his voice rising.  
  
“Maybe,” Blurr said, looking away, “I saw Bumblebee today. He seemed well. Actually...pretty happy. He said to tell you hi. He’s---tried to let them come see you, but Megatron’s.....” he shrugged.  
  
“Forbidden them from seeing me, yeah, I’m well aware. Thanks for telling me. I worry about them, a lot.” He looked up shrugging, “I miss them.”  
  
“Oh, Optimus, can’t you just try to be more agreeable. He’d let them see you then. I know he would.”  
  
“That is never going to happen, Blurr. Never.” Optimus snapped, his optics flashing with emotion.  
  
“Never is an awfully long time, Optimus. A very long time,” Blurr said, looking away.  
  
“I can’t see you holding out that long, my Prime,” a voice came from the entryway.  
  
Blurr froze, optics widening as Megatron stepped into the room. The results were immediate. Optimus’ spinal struts stiffened, his face plates morphing into a scowl.  
  
“I’m not your anything, you glitch head,” Optimus hissed, optics narrowing.  
  
Blurr’s optics widened looking between the two mechs. This wasn’t something he wanted to witness much less be caught in the middle of. The pit.  
  
“The sparklings in your chest belies that point, Optimus,” Megatron’s lips curled into a smirk, “I don’t know why you fight it so. You’re defeated.”    
  
Optimus hissed again, lunging at Megatron. “Slag-headed-glitch-I’m not your anything.”  
  
Megatron just laughed, catching Optimus’ wrists easily. “It was nice seeing you, Blurr, give Shockwave my regards.”  
  
“Y-yes, sir,” Blurr squeaked, booking it out out the house as fast as his legs would carry him.  


 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
He took the long way home, and hope Shockwave would be back by the time he arrived. He hated when he left. He could not help but to worry and fret the entire time, and this mission had been a long one. The last thing in the world Blurr had wanted after the last time Shockwave had come back injured, nearly offlined in truth. Things would only get worse before they would get better. He had been told that often enough. He stepped through the entryway and vented in relief as he spotted Shockwave working at his data terminal. “You’re home,” he said, relief evident in his tone as he crossed the room.  
  
“Indeed, I am,” Shockwave agreed. He looked down at his small, blue lover. “You visited Optimus this cycle?”  
  
“Oh, yeah, that went really well,” Blurr said, moving close enough to lean against the other mech. “I think I might hold off on that for a while. Maybe. He’s well, yeah.”  Blurr shrugged, leaning closer and finally nuzzling against Shockwave’s audial.  
  
“I was wondering---do you think it might be possible for me to go something. I need to be useful I just can’t...I need something to do. Something other than...ah...cleaning house and going to visit Optimus. Please,” Blurr finished in a rush, a pleading look on his faceplates. “I just need to be useful. Deadlock said maybe I could be a courier. I could do that, couldn't I? And it wouldn't be something I would need to leave Chaar for, cause I know you would never agree to that,” he mumbled the last. “Not that I want to leave,” he shrugged, looking suddenly flustered. “Please.”  
  
Shockwave was quiet as he considered it. “It is not an unacceptable idea, but I am quite certain that  Lord Megatron would never agree as such unless you willingly took the oath. Perhaps, we could find something else for you.”  
  
“No, it’s fine. I was---I was thinking about it anyway. I---” he shut his mouth looking flustered. “It’s hard to say. I didn’t think it would be. I---ah---I um---I care about you. Very much,” he mumbled, looking like he was going to crawl under the desk Shockwave was sitting at. It shouldn’t be this hard.  
  
Shockwave stared at him, unblinking. “Pardon?”  
  
Blurr glared. “You aren’t going to make this easy on me, are you?”  
  
“That was not my contrivance, no,” Shockwave pulled him close, data cables already creeping out.  
  
Blurr shook, his temperature already rising. “Fine, whatever. I love you. Are you happy?”  
  
“Completely,” Shockwave’s reply was whispered into his audial, as the data cables sank into Blurr’s ports.  
  
Blurr’s spinal struts boughed and he clawed at Shockwave’s gauntlets, finding purchase in the seams. His panel snapped open with barely a thought, valve already dripping.  
  
Shockwave pulled him into his lap, sinking the small Bot onto his spike. It was perfect, at least from the Frameshifter’s point of view. Blurr fit against him, riding Shockwave’s spike until they were both venting heavily from their overload, and afterwards the spy held him tightly against his chest comforted by his mate’s warm chassis and the hum of their cooling systems.  
  
Blurr offlined his optics, listening to the pinging of cooling metal. “So...you don’t mind if I become a Con officially?” He asked in a small voice, not entirely sure of himself.    
  
Shockwave hummed, smoothing a claw over Blurr’s helm. “Nothing would bring me more joy. I will speak with Lord Megatron about it.”

 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
Blurr looked into the mirror, noting the changes to his frame. The red optics would take a while to get used to, but he found he liked it. He had been hard pressed to convince Shockwave about the paintjob, but as he told his lover he wanted a fresh start and to divorce himself from his old life as much as possible. Too many things had changed, he had learned too much, and had lost too much of his innocence to the Autobot cause. Optimus at least did not understand, but he hoped in time his friend would take off the blinders. One day. Despite it all he had hope for all of them in abundance.  
  
He had a job to start the following cycle, his engine revved at the thought. It was just a courier position, taking messages from the command center to wherever they needed to go. It wasn’t anything big or requiring a high clearance, but it was a start. He could not help preening at the thought of it, or the excitement that flowed through his lines knowing he’d be racing through the streets the following cycle.  
  
In any case, from his view he was a new bot, and maybe it didn’t hurt for the outside to reflect the inside. They had finally agree on the black paint he now sported, it nearly eclipsed the blue, but that only seemed appropriate all things considered. It looked sharp to Blurr’s optics, and complimented the insignia now gracing his chestplates. He touched that too, ignoring the way it still stung. He took the pain in stride, and leaned in to the tall spy when he finally came to stand behind him, towering over his small mate. The claws on his shoulders were a comfort, as were Shockwave’s fields as they reached out and enveloped him much like a hug. This was not the life he had planned, but he’d take it.

 

OoOoOoOoOo

  
  
A/N-  
~Thanks for Camfield, Xobit, and the other people that helped me out in the pad. <3  
~Inspiration for Optimus- Jewelery-  
<http://img1.etsystatic.com/000/0/5346011/il_fullxfull.126645341.jpg>  
<http://img3.etsystatic.com/004/0/6135989/il_570xN.394943559_2gzt.jpg>  
<http://www.articlesweb.org/blog/wp-content/gallery/finding-unique-pieces-of-steampunk-jewelry/finding-unique-pieces-of-steampunk-jewelry-7.jpg>  
~Autobots captured and the Cons they were placed with:  
Optimus/Megatron, Jazz/Blitzwing, Prowl/Lockdown, Bulkhead/Seekers, Ratchet/Hook, Bumblebee/Barricade, Rodimus Prime/Cyclonus, Brawn/Blackout, Red Alert/Ambulon, First Aid and Hotshot/Combaticons, and Ironhide/Clench.  
~Inspiration for Blurr’s repaint: [http://tfwiki.net/w2/images2/archive/d/dd/20110428203308!AnimatedVortexBlurr.jpg](http://tfwiki.net/w2/images2/archive/d/dd/20110428203308%21AnimatedVortexBlurr.jpg)


End file.
